prayers to keep on keeping on

Bard1 · September 07, 2007, 11:33:00 AM

*sigh* I need prayers to help me deal with my ex's boarderline personality. I am ready to give up dealing with her and just walk away from my kids. I am not sure how much more I can take.
D-

ArcticArcher · September 07, 2007, 02:03:00 PM

Bard,

I know you're pain and have been there. The only thing I can tell you is do you're best to be there for the kids. I did somethings that I regret, such as not calling or contacting them as much as I should have, and I regret it. They live in a different state so it made it tough, but now that they are older I talk to them more. I explained why I did what I did. My daughter who has since moved away from her mother said "I was glad to get away from the crazy people there." The kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for.

Hang in there. Prayers are with you.

Nick

Bard1 · September 07, 2007, 02:11:00 PM

Thank you nick..it means more to me then you may realize to know some one else can relate.

Doc Nock · September 07, 2007, 02:21:00 PM

Many can relate, Derek. The thing that might be different is the level of bizarre, each person's tolerance and all the history that goes before the breakup.

You asked for prayers, so that is a given. IT also suggests you have a faith-anchor. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a prayer knot and hang on.

While kids are perceptive, as Nick shared, if you talk to counselors, adult children often still wrestle with feelings of abondonment(?).

Keepthe Son in yoru eyes...

BenBow · September 07, 2007, 02:38:00 PM

Prayers sent for all concerned

thp · September 07, 2007, 02:44:00 PM

Derek, what a bummer. Prayers sent.

Traxx · September 08, 2007, 08:15:00 PM

Absolutely!!!!

TexMex · September 09, 2007, 11:46:00 AM

QuoteOriginally posted by ArcticArcher:
Bard,

I know you're pain and have been there. The only thing I can tell you is do you're best to be there for the kids. I did somethings that I regret, such as not calling or contacting them as much as I should have, and I regret it. They live in a different state so it made it tough, but now that they are older I talk to them more. I explained why I did what I did. My daughter who has since moved away from her mother said "I was glad to get away from the crazy people there." The kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for.

Hang in there. Prayers are with you.

Nick

This sounds so familiar, I went through the same thing.
Brad, good luck to you.
Prayers sent
God Bless

AnointedArcher · September 10, 2007, 08:01:00 AM

Brad I know this might sound general and vague, but I know how true it is. Keep your eyes focused on God and all things things shall fall in place. I can not stress enough how our enemy (the devil) has come to rob steal and destroy us and is primary objective is to get us to get our eyes off of Jesus. The bad part is he will use any means to do it, even using our own family against us. However this is the time we truly need to put all our focus on the King of Kings! When we start to think and act and walk as Jesus did all these trials in life will be easier and easier to go through. The bigger we make Jesus the smaller are problems become! Trust me, I know this trial is not easy, but Jesus said His yoke was light!

God bless you Bro and may you find peace that only Jesus can supply!

Bard1 · September 10, 2007, 12:19:00 PM

thanks every one for your support. The "splash" is over, and now it is just a matter of watching the ripples settle out.
Derek

TexMex · September 11, 2007, 07:35:00 AM

Prayers continue.

God Bless

Doc Nock · September 11, 2007, 07:41:00 AM

Watch them ripples, bro...they're what do the most erosion damage!

Prayers continue for strength, peace and insight to His will.

vermonster13 · September 11, 2007, 08:53:00 AM

Prayers sent.

ArcticArcher · September 11, 2007, 10:14:00 AM

Bard,

As Doc said the ripples do the most damage. I agree with that 100%. AS I said earlier I, along with many others, have been thru what you are going thru. Prayers are with you.

One other piece of advise if I might. Try to stay on the high road when dealing with this situation. Don't sink to the level of pettiness and bickering for the sake of bickering. The kids are the ones that really matter. I'm not saying you should rollover, but remember the kids are the ones that suffer from all the fighting.

As I reflect on my situation, which happened over 7 years ago, I realize that I made many mistakes and unfortunately I have probably lost the connection I wanted with my children. I am trying to rebuild that, but as Doc stated I'm sure there are some issues of abandonment that will take a long time to overcome, if ever. That is my biggest regret that I failed my children.

Prayers are with you my friend. God Bless.

Nick

Doc Nock · September 12, 2007, 08:48:00 AM

Nick and Bard,

Please don't interpret my comments as condemnation... not at all. I just wanted to share the knowledge I had that so many kids feel abandoned...or worse, that the break up is somehow their fault.

The sources I trust counsel that it's good to just sit them down (kids) and talk about these things and why it happened...always reassuring them that it was not their fault. Period!

God did not make us infallable... so we cannot and will not always make right choices or see the forest for the trees. We do what we can.

When I went through my divorce, I found that I had a lot more strength to carry on than I ever thought humanly possible...and then slowly I started to realize that I was on my knees a LOT.

I came to realize it wasn't me at all, but it was God giving me strength to persevere when I thought there was nothing left in me but dust.

It wasn't fun. It wasn't comfortable and I bawled and gagged a lot...but I kept finding more strength to carry on than I thought possible. I find that is the case in each life crisis when I but reach out in trust. Hard to do often..but always amazing how simply it works!

God is an amazing God. Trusting Him to be there for us and to provide us incomprehensible strength when we least feel strong is the most amazing thing I've learned in my own "walk" (crawl?) and growth in faith. I'm not there yet...but I'm getting better at this Faith/Trust thing. Now if I could just stop making mistakes!

Don't beat yourself up...but know that God brought you to this and if you but fall before Him, he won't let you fail...

Peace.